Was it a dream ?



Was it only yesterday when I knew you ?



Was it all an illusion drawn out from sleep ?



Why is everything phantasmagoric ?



Deja Vu



The last Two were all unreal. shadows of a past. but Now... it's Real. i have not surpassed dreams just to live in a fantasy. It's Real this time. nothing will change my mind. what's been put into motion cannot be turned back now.



It's all Surreal.




Where did i go wrong ?



I have failed His test again.



Elizabeth Barrett Browning


Accuse me not, beseech thee, that I wear
Too calm and sad a face in front of thine;
For we two look two ways, and cannot shine
With the same sunlight on our brow and hair.
On me thou lookest with no doubting care,
As on a bee in a crystalline;
Since sorrow hath shut me safe in love's divine
And to spread wing and fly in the outer air
Were most impossible failure, if I strove
To fail so. But I look on thee--on thee--
Beholding, besides love, the end of love,
Hearing oblivion beyond memory;
As one who sits and gazes from above,
Over the rivers to the bitter sea.

Can You Dig It ?



:)




It's good to know that shaq's still doing his thing in the ball game. and kobe did a lay up when he's wide open. come on man, dont boo him. so what if he raped a 19 yr old girl ? i bet she let him do it man. watching the 2004 all-star game's really inspired me, the passion the players have in 'em, it's just so all inspiring. kinda makes me wonder when was the last time i really played basketball. i miss :)



Who the bleeding hell is boey kim cheng ? how is he one of singapore's most promising poets ? he writes what he sees, that's basically what Another Place's poems are. ms victor doesnt understand jackshit about her own stuff. mannn we need berlina tan back.


Ah i'm doing nothing in school these days. i've lost interest in almost everything. sigh... that's how deep i've fallen. but at least i know my conscience's clear : my mind's made up.



I know your eyes in the morning sun
I feel you touch me in the pouring rain
And the moment that you wander far from me
I wanna feel you in my arms again

And you come to me on a summer breeze
Keep me warm in your love and then softly leave
And it's me you need to show

Chorus:
How deep is your love
I really need to learn
'cause we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me


I believe in you
You know the door to my very soul
You're the light in my deepest darkest hour
You're my saviour when i fall
And you may not think
I care for you
When you know down inside
That i really do
And it's me you need to show

How Deep is Your Love ?



*not giving up

The french and the english look damn good in their jerseys, though it's a lil disgusting to watch 'em in skin-tight fits. my first ever six-nations !! the six nations 2004, lol. how exciting. hmmm... in primary 6 mrs chia offered to help me get into sji, but my mom turned her down and went for mshs instead. ha, if i only went to sji and started on rugby 4 years earlier.



I think the jjc captain called me on friday night, asking if i was the captain of NY. told him no and gave 'im jin chao's number, but i wonder who gave him my number... strange, but hope it's a friendly SOON !!!! the last friendly match was 7 weeks ago. SEVEN WEEKS !!! i'm dying for a game. now... if jamal would let me play on the wing... :D oh which reminds me, i did a Lomu on a year one dude. was his first training session. hope he wont stop rugby just 'cause of that :> The U-17 competition's started. acs i thrashed evergreen sec 80-0. the saints beat pioneer sec 56-0, and monfort beat bukit batok 82-0. Where is the Love ? :D


I'm tired of waiting. it seems endless, but yet i'll still wait, 'cause if its time needed, i wont rush things. but now i'll just see how things go, and move on from there. for the present, i'll just concentrate on rugger, and maybe studying :D for now...... the future's never clear, but i'll wait.




*I cant stop this feeling deep inside of me, girl you just dont realise what you're doing to me

What's love?
When you are together with that special someone,
you pretend to ignore that person. But when that
special someone is not around, you might look
around to find them.
At that moment, you are in love.

Although there is someone else who always makes
you laugh,
your eyes and attention might go only to that
special someone.
Then, you are in love.

Although that special someone was supposed to
have called you long back, to let you know of
their safe arrival,
your phone is quiet.
You are desperately waiting for the call!
At that moment, you are in love.

If you are much more excited for one short e-
mail from
that special someone than other many long e-
mails,
you are in love.

When you find yourself as one who cannot erase
all the
messages in your answering machine because of
one message
from that special someone, you are in love.

When you get a couple of free movie tickets, you
would
not hesitate to think of that special someone.
Then, you are in love.

You keep telling yourself, "that special someone
is just a friend", but you realize that you can
not avoid that person's special attraction. At
that moment, you are in love.

While you are reading this page, if someone
appears in your mind,
then u are in love with that person

I can’t stop this feelin’
Deep inside of me
Girl you just don’t realize
What you do to me

When you hold me
In your arms so tight
You let me know
Everything’s alright

I’m - hooked on a feeling
I’m high on believin’
That you’re in love with me

Lips as sweet as candy
Your taste is on my mind
Girl you got me thirsty
For another - cup of wine

Got a bug from you girl
But I don’t need a cure
I’ll just stay affected
If I can’t be sure

All the good love - when we’re all alone
Keep it up girl - yeah you turn me on

I’m hooked on a feeling
I’m high on believin’
That you’re in love with me



*tears of love

Seriously, the one thing that our team really lacks is discipline. man, even i'm guilty of doing shit. really really hoping that the team's gonna minimize our nonsense.



On a lighter note :D went out with gracie and john to get stuff. met a couple of my sec sch friends. ben was the first. seriously dude, u've grown BIGGER !!!! :P and man.. that girl that was with you ? she was tall man. hahahaha sorry :D then there's krishna, i think it was his gf... then there's christian and his guy friend. ( everybody knows christian's with mingli :P )




Was wondering about those people who exchanged uniforms during the first 3 months. now i really think, it's bloody stupid. well, nvm the girls, but the guys man. it's understandable ppl from like.. what, north view sec student, or some sch like that, to wear a rafflesian or saints uniform, but a marist wearing a hai xing catholic uniform ? that's bleeding stupid. fair enough, i didnt xchange uniforms 'cause there werent ( or still aren't :D ) many people who's my size, so it's rather difficult for me to. but puh-lease... hai xing catholic ? fuckerdi doo :)



The rucks and mauls of life.
Advice number one : In life, never step on someone's face unless it's butt ass ugly or it's that fat teacher in nyjc who's real proud of his stomach, but if it's in a ruck or maul, step anywhere you want :D


Ah... the joys of being a front-row forward :D





And i'm gone.



*4 days to go :)




(p.s. heard ur flying down under already, adriel ! haha well dont really know you well, but glad to say it's nice being ya friend :D hope u'd do fine at trinity college man, while i still bum around in nyjc and clearing rucks with jianlin. haha )

I guess now it's time for me to give up
I feel it's time
Got a picture of you beside me
Got your lipstick mark still on your coffee cup
Got a fist of pure emotion
Got a head of shattered dreams
Gotta leave it, gotta leave it all behind now

Whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it
I just want you back for good
Whenever I'm wrong just tell me the song and I'll sing it
You'll be right and understood

Unaware but underlined I figured out this story
It wasn't good
But in the corner of my mind I celebrated glory
But that was not to be
In the twist of separation you excelled at being free
Can't you find a little room inside for me

Whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it
I just want you back for good
Whenever I'm wrong just tell me the song and I'll sing it
You'll be right and understood

And we'll be together, this time is forever
We'll be fighting and forever we will be
So complete in our love
We will never be uncovered again

Whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it
I just want you back for good
Whenever I'm wrong just tell me the song and I'll sing it
You'll be right and understood

I guess now it's time, that you came back for good



Back For Good :)



Alright. just signed up for my NS registration thing ( or rather, my dad did. ) i had to sign up on tuesday the 2nd of march !! i kinda forgot that the econs lec on thurs are 1 and a half hours, and tues' econs lecs are only an hour long. ARGHHHHHHHHHHhh stupidity stupidity stupidity... oh well :D at least i wont have to go for the afternoon PE session.
The joys of skipping PE.



Hey, sorry to hear, gin gin... i feel what u feel, 'cause its happened to me before. its like the invulnerable bubble that surrounds everyone around u's shattered... but u just gotta handle it :) stay strong and keep going girl :) mosie's gonna be there for u :P


The odd couple was quite okay. i didnt laugh much, but what made me laugh most was the fat dude behind joe, laughing like a pig. wanted to stab an 8B pencil in his neck, but i think i'd lose it half way through sticking it in.

.
..
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......
.......
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..
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Hello. You've reached Arnold's pizza shop. I'm not here now, I'm out killing pepperoni. If you wanna reach me, if you want a pizza, I dont care, coz I'm not here, cant you realise that, idiot ? But, if you need the pizza sometime, I can have it delivered it to you, or maybe I will staple it to you. I dont care what you want on it, every pizza comes with pepperoni and with 9 millimetre bullets on it. if you dont like it, i dont care, cause you'll receive one anyhow. the only difference is, maybe the 9mm bullets will be in your gun, or in your pizza. if you dont fuck around, i'll give you good pizza, if you do fuck around, i'll take a pepperoni and punch it through your head. so if you want mushroom, shut up. if you want brocolli, what the hell is brocolli anyway ? shut up with the brocolli. if you want something crazy like a pineapple, i'll kill you. if you like pepperoni and bullets, you've come to the right place. if not you're an idiot, you deserve to die. so, leave your name, number, serial number, how tall you are, and maybe i'll give you a pizza, or maybe i'll break off your arm.


Oh what the fornicating hell :)



*I cant stop this feeling, deep inside of me, girl you just dont realise what you do to me...when you hold me in your arms so tight, you let me know everything's alright, i'm hooked on a feeling, high on believing that you're in love with me... your lips are sweet as candy, the taste is on my mind, girl you keep me thirsty for another cup of wine...


8 days to go..

The Last Samurai. awesome film i tell u :) gotta watch it !!



From the very Beginning, Gal's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background, & that the gal will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.

Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrelled very often. Though the gal love the guy deeply, but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?" As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the gal to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the gal often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endured it in silence.

After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the gal: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?" The gal agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he leave, they got engaged. The gal went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up.

One day, while the gal was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realised that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. she has lost her voice.. The doctors says that the impact that had on her brain has caused her to loss her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down. During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry.. it's still just silence cry that accompanied her.

Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone, which pierced into her heart every time it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know. & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer. With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, countless of phone calls.. all the gal could do, besides crying, is still crying.... The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy. With a new environment, the gal learn sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy.

One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.

A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing a invitation card for the guy's wedding. The gal was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead. When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. "Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You." With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The gal finally smiled.

"Love is the greatest thing in the World".


12 more days to go...