Best I Ever Had


So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had

So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely

Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better

But it's not so bad
(Not so bad...)
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
(Need me back...)

You're just the best I ever had

And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

What was it you wanted
Could it be I'm haunted

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
I don't want you back
You're just the best I ever had

The best I ever had
The best I ever...





I've always said that things change, and now i say some things don't, either. my feelings haven't changed a single bit, after all. teck, i just realised there's more to it than what i've told you today. guess.. it's more complex than even i thought it to be...

It was one of the most beautiful drop goals in the history of sports. it would have been one of the most crucial 3-pointers to make into the books of history itself, but ( as there are always, Buts ), BUT......... there are two catches.

One, it's not rugby i'm talking about, it's soccer.

Two, WHY, BECKS, WHY ?! that was NOT a twin-goal post u were aiming for, that was a SOCCER goal post !



Shit happens, that's what i think. well, it's gotta be age too. MJ did miss that dunk wide OPEN during the '02 all-star game.





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Mr teo smsed to wish me good luck for the mid years, and i'm telling y'all now, that sms is making me feel GUILTY ! i havent touched a single thing on economics. ( neither have i for literature, but that's besides the point ) and now all i can say is...


ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!












Shit Happens.




Alright, sleep early everybody, i'll be gone faster than you can say missyvictorhasamassiveass.



missyvic------------------------------------------

Argh.. pulled my calve muscle while running.. it sucks.. but then again there was a cute AC girl running on the treadmill too.. haha =/


Oh well.. can't they improve the gym here in castle green ?

Argh.. pulled my calve muscle while running.. it sucks.. but then again there was a cute AC girl running on the treadmill too.. haha =/

It's absolutely amazing how the game of rugby causes people to fall in love with it and leave everything else below ( well, almost everything ) it happens to the girls too.



I'm probably one of the few guys left in singapore who don't follow soccer at all, but.... germany, italy and spain, all out of the euro 2004 ? man, even a non-football-savvy guy like me knows that's gotta really SUCK !



On a heavier note : William Hung. i guess the only way to ask is like this, why the fuck is william hung singing ? who the fuck gave him the right to ? how the fuck did he move from zero-to-hero ? my 4th and last question....












What The Fucking Hell ?











There's no more reason left in this world to ponder...... only incoherent actions and fatal consequences.

Well ! here i am again. havent blogged for the past few days 'cause i was lazy, but i'm back anyway... here's a summary of the past few days.


Erm.. guess i'll start on friday, was supposed to be a 110 reunion, but only daryl, noodle and i made it. went to eat at fareast, then met adam and gideon on the way, adam said he just saw rachel, went to heerens, met manda and four of her girl classmates, then went to borders, met noodle's friend, left for dinner, met daniel-mr-biiiig-EGO on the way ( he's got a gf ! ), met faz and iqbal too. yep.. that's about it for friday....

Had back-to-back bbqs for the last two nights ! monday night was anderson's farewell bbq. time sure flies man, seemed like only a week ago when it was in december, when i sent 'im off to LA, and he just left this morning once again. alright.. a couple of ppl didnt turn up, eugene cause he was sick ( right :D ), not sure 'bout clarence, russell's mom grounded 'im for study's sake, manda sab and daena didnt wanna come... the fire starters sucked. lol. for someone who lives in a condo near orchard road, i gotta say again that the fire starters really sucked.

Bbq : deuce ! gracelina's bday bbq. dick, ur such a sweetheart man :P ... fire starters were so much BETTER ! :D in fact, the fire was bloody hot. oo and i saw jose's gf. never seen her 'round before though !



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Again, time sure flies ! it's the fourth and last week of the midyr holidays, and it's already midweek ! hopefully i'm meeting nelly and teckmeng tmr.. sure has been a long time since i've met nelson ! i miss ya man !! :)



hoW Do PpL StaND tYPIng lIkE thiS Man ? took 10 seconds to type that sentence. whatever ! :P




And i swear.. the smaller they are, the LOUDER they get.. believe me man, just notice the small ones in school. it's TRUE :D




I think those muslim terrorists are fucked up man, cant they stop beheading people ? i guess they're so poor, that, they've got no meaning left in life but to cover their faces with clothes, sling ak-47s on their shoulders and chop innocent people's heads off ! the south korean dude was the last straw man... watching his family cry, it's damn heart breaking. if i ever meet one, i'll fucking castrate him and half-chop his head off so he'd roughly know how it feels like to have your head disconnected from the neck. "ooh what's that ugly thing on your head, my terrorist ? it's your HEAD ! it's so buttass ugly it's gotta GO man."



Well, here's booze to drown my anger away... cheers to booze !

Well ! here i am again. havent blogged for the past few days 'cause i was lazy, but i'm back anyway... here's a summary of the past few days.


Erm.. guess i'll start on friday, was supposed to be a 110 reunion, but only daryl, noodle and i made it. went to eat at fareast, then met adam and gideon on the way, adam said he just saw rachel, went to heerens, met manda and four of her girl classmates, then went to borders, met noodle's friend, left for dinner, met daniel-mr-biiiig-EGO on the way ( he's got a gf ! ), met faz and iqbal too. yep.. that's about it for friday....

Had back-to-back bbqs for the last two nights ! monday night was anderson's farewell bbq. time sure flies man, seemed like only a week ago when it was in december, when i sent 'im off to LA, and he just left this morning once again. alright.. a couple of ppl didnt turn up, eugene cause he was sick ( right :D ), not sure 'bout clarence, russell's mom grounded 'im for study's sake, manda sab and daena didnt wanna come... the fire starters sucked. lol. for someone who lives in a condo near orchard road, i gotta say again that the fire starters really sucked.

Bbq : deuce ! gracelina's bday bbq. dick, ur such a sweetheart man :P ... fire starters were so much BETTER ! :D in fact, the fire was bloody hot. oo and i saw jose's gf. never seen her 'round before though !



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Again, time sure flies ! it's the fourth and last week of the midyr holidays, and it's already midweek ! hopefully i'm meeting nelly and teckmeng tmr.. sure has been a long time since i've met nelson ! i miss ya man !! :)



hoW Do PpL StaND tYPIng lIkE thiS Man ? took 10 seconds to type that sentence. whatever ! :P




And i swear.. the smaller they are, the LOUDER they get.. believe me man, just notice the small ones in school. it's TRUE :D




Well, there you have it. i dont know what to blog these days, and i cant wait for school to reopen ! it's been a while since i've bummed around the corridors and talked to the pataya stall dude.
cheers to school, then ! and to my friends..

The typical stupidity of Malaysians. ( :D no it's NOT a sequel to the previous entry as you might think it so ) nah no one made me cross enough to say that, jut felt like it ;)



Fucking sad. :( of all the saddest things to happen, the Pistons HAD TO WIN THE FINALS ! which proves the point that things never go the way people want them to, not even when you've got 4 superstars on the Laker team.



lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll



So national service has been reduced to 2 years. ns ain't so bad i think.. everyone complains but they aren't REALLY REALLY complaining that seriously. oh been running :) but not constantly, and i've still got pull ups to work on.



111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111




Human insecurity. i feel it every day, every minute, every second. as i take each breath, i know, inside of me, that i need Something. whether it's a girlfriend, or an All-Mighty one Above, i just need Some Thing to cling on to for support. to God ? i'm still questioning that, or to a Significant Other ? or to the knowledge that everything is going to be smooth-sailing ahead of me ?

Oh i don't want to care anymore, as much as i am now... there's a contradiction there, right ? but that's just what i feel.




And so Life goes on.. and on.. and on.. and on.. and.......






On

The typical stupidity of Singaporeans ( i'm sure tim would back me up on this any time ). i put my towel and slippers beside the bench, swam for a while and then this woman and her daughter came. you see. there were FIVE benches. but noooo.... her intelligence told her to lie on MY bench, where MY towel and slippers were. as singaporeans would go, "Damn smart ahhhh :)"




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Buddhism teaches us that the materialistic world that we human beings live in are but an illusion. therefore, we should forget all that we hold on to in that fantasy we live in and attain Enlightenment. but what kind of enlightenment do we attain ? happiness ? happy because i've let everything go, everything including love, and achieved a state of nirvana ? so where's the meaning of life which we have been searching for so fervently ?

Then every buddhist would've to shave their heads and give up their worldly desires. if we give up love, i dont think there's any meaning left in life, even if it means lifting me up to a state of freedom from worldly desires and pain.

Buddhism, like every other religion, is an opinion. it is not a fact.





I am but only Human..

Wam.. Bam.. Kazaam !!!!!!!!



A true transformers fan would know what i'm saying :D the cartoons these days canNOT beat those of the 80s and 90s :) been starting on cartoons again ( there's my kid-y side surfacing ) and i realised that the teenage mutant ninja turtles and He-man's back, though they're not the old ones, but rather with newer story lines.

He-man's was actually during my bro's time, we've still got his huge collection of He-man toys somewhere at home.. come to think of it, he's got most of the cool toys man, while i had the newer ( but less cool ) versions of the transformers and.. power ranger dolls ?
Never Mind :)





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Faz, congrats on being cap man, always knew u were one of the better players when i first knew u at the start of the year. now that you're cap'n.. there's responsibilities man. now that baoxin's out for a while.. the strain's gonna be heavier, and remember.. i'm sure you aim to beat the year twos for the testimonial match, but always remember your number one aim should be the A division.. from now till september man, the basics are always important, make sure no one slacks, and stay strong dude.. i've faith in ya.





Now.......... i've just got this feeling that england's gonna do badly against the All Blacks and the Wallybees. 14 of their world cup winners have retired... and they were THIRD in the Six Nations this year. neither can i wait for the next All blacks test match.



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I didnt really do anything today, 'cept to play basketball at my dad's office. SPH's got this nice indoor bball court on the rooftop.. then caught Kill Bill vol. 1 on dvd. not a bad movie, lotsa killing ( gotta be one of daryl's fav films :P ) but it's kinda exaggerated with blood spilling out like mini fountains everytime a limb or a head gets hacked off. cant wait for dunc to get vol. 2 ! it kinda left the feeling i had when i watched the Empire Strikes Back and the Prisoner of Azkhaban too.




Bought grotsche beer, the one that comes with the bottle with the cap that joe had. which brings me to this point. she thought he was a bad influence on me, thought i was like him, trying to be rebels. i didnt bother about her friends man. i didnt care. i'm not a goody-two-shoes boy, or at least i dont act like one like the "Hippo" boy in A3.

Never cared what kinda friends my ex had, why should i ? it's ludicrous to. and i never cared whether my friends are rebels or not, their still my friends.



There is never a barrier separating friendship.

Someone PLEASE make me RUN

Since the A div's been over, i have NOT run at all and it's already been what, 3 to 4 weeks ?

Someone PLEASE make me RUN






While i was at mos burger in jubilee in the afternoon, noticed this group of china mainlanders ( got that from my mom, i think it's a direct translation from the chinese words Da Lu Ren ) eating food that's DEFINITELY not mos burger. hey ! i'm fine with that, i've done that once or twice before, maybe, but it's the fact that they're from CHINA that bloody annoyed me. it's not the language, it's not the accent, it's not how they look, how they smell, how they even take up our oxygen, it's just that....... they're HERE.


Can't stand 'em. really, i don't. i couldn't stand 'em in secondary school, i can't stand 'em in jc now, i can't stand 'em anywhere, they're EVERYWHERE ! the thing i don't understand is, why does our government welcome them with open arms when it's transparently obvious they're just using s'pore as a foothold to emigrate to america ? someone just ship 'em all off back to china, Puh-LEASE !


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Oooo, Reagan's dead, at the ripe old age of 93. sad.


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:D



The things i'd do for amusement. ya know.. anything's fodder just for a good laugh. that's me :)






How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood ?

Now try saying that within less than 5 seconds.



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How 'bout Jimmy Floyd Hasslebank ?




JimmyFloydHasslebankJimmyFloydHasslebankJimmyFloydHasslebankJimmyFloydHasslebank
JimmyFloydHasslebankJimmyFloydHasslebankJimmyFloydHasslebankJimmyFloydHasslebank
JimmyFloydHasslebankJimmyFloydHasslebankJimmyFloydHasslebankJimmyFloydHasslebank
JimmyFloydHasslebankJimmyFloydHasslebank......

I'm not in love, so don't forget it.
It's just a silly phase I'm going through.
And just because I call you up,
Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made.
I'm not in love, no no, it's because...
I like to see you, but then again,
That doesn't mean you mean that much to me.
So if I call you, don't make a fuzz;
Don't tell your friends about the two of us.
I'm not in love, no no, it's because...
I keep your picture upon the wall.
It hides a nasty stain that's lying there.
So don't you ask me to give it back.
I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me.
I'm not in love, no no, it's because...
Ooh, you'll wait a long time for me.
Ooh, you'll wait a long time.
I'm not in love, I'm not in love...

So far, through the week, all i've been doing are three things : Eating, Sleeping, and Bumming 'round. there's more than Bumming around actually, but i'm lazy to go into detail......



17 or so years of my life have past, and i've got this "sian" feeling of staying with my family already. okay, maybe not my bro, but more accurately my mom. for many reasons, i shan't say, because i don't want to ( besides some of you know roughly Why. ) and it's way too long. she's the main reason why i've always wanted to study overseas.



Like she's hollering now for some f*** ass reason.






Bleeding Hell.

Home is behind...

And the world.. ahead...




Well, if you didnt understand that, it's from a song merry sang in the Return of the King. he's got such a pleasant tenor voice :) sometimes i wish i had a better voice..... cant help watching disk 2 over and over again. the marching of the orcs to minas tirith.. the ride of the rohirrim.. but it's really sad that the witchking was defeated by a HOBBIT ! ( man, even with caps "hobbit" 's still small ) thought Tolkien would've given 'im a better death if it was gandalf who vanquished him.



Then the thought of Paris of Troy comes to mind. why the bleeding hell did he morph into legolas at the end of the movie ? it's such an anti-climax. his bro died at the hands of Archilles and the loser actually kills Archilles, in the heel ? that really sucks.


Moral of the story ? the coward always lives. remember private Upham from Saving Private Ryan ? Upham hid while the tiger tank was killing his squadmates, only to be saved by the F-51 fighters. that's the truth. the brave die, and the cowardice survive. interesting :D




Back to Archilles.. the archilles tendon's the weakest part of the body, is it not ? well.. in my years of experience playing the sport of basketball alone, it's really the most vulnerable spot of our body. i've been elbowed, knee-ed in the gut, punched, had my spectacles broken a couple of times, and i survived those. thank God i've never sprained my ankle before. twisted my right ankle a tini-lil' bit once when i lended awkwardly on my right foot while shooting the ball ( incidentally it went in, i still remember that shot ! ) but it hurt only for a while. the times i've seen my friends sprain their ankles, heck even my ex sprained her ankle while playing basketball before.

There's melgious. he sprains his ankle at least ONCE every rugger game. scary. guess the positions i play are always the ones that requires one to take the beating and do the least running. the Centre/Forward position's are always the positions i play in basketball, and there's a lot more contact near the basket than there is at the Guard spot. i'm a forward in rugby too, and though there's a lot more crash-and-bashing at the front line, our chances of hurting our ankles arent really high compared to a Back like melgious, 'cause they do a hell lot of running.




And no, i'm not planning for my ankle to be hurt any time soon. and, i'm playing basketball tomorrow :D ah.. how it used to bring me so much happiness.






Speaking of happiness, i've been wondering, through all those crap i've been through, the couldhavebeens, the mighthavebeens, the shouldhavebeens...... i guess i'd still consider myself a happy kid. though i got terribly heartbroken at the beginning of the year, teckmeng's said i've matured emotionally. i think i have, i think.. because i'm not so rash anymore.



I've decided to take things slow now, take things as they are. now, i live for the moment. guess it's kinda stressful to look ahead and plan so many things....

[ .001. ] First Name: Dudley
[ .002. ] Middle Name: i'm chinese. i dont have a middle name.
[ .003. ] Last Name: Kow
[ .004. ] NickName: dud, duds, dudders, duddy wuddy, dude, dudster
[ .005. ] Gender: Male
[ .006. ] Age : 17+
[ .007. ] Birthday: 29/10/86
[ .008. ] Height: 176cm
[ .009. ] Hair Colour: black, a couple of strands of reds and whites and gold coloured ones
[ .011. ] Race: Chinese
[ .012. ] Do you wear glasses or
contacts: both, but only glasses at home.
[ .013. ] do you have braces: nah
[ .014. ] is your hair long or short: short !!
[ .015. ] where were you born: Nova Scotia.. where do you think ? of course it's Singapore :P
[ .016. ] current location: Singapore
[ .017. ] zodiac sign: scorpio.
[ .018. ] how many languages do know: Chinese, English, a lil bit of Hokkien, a lil bit of French
[ .019. ] nationality: Singaporean !
[ .020. ] bad habits: i'm a bloody lazy bum :D
[ .021. ] piercings you have: nah
[ .022. ] piercings you want: on my left ! ( which side's supposed to signify homosexuality ? )
[ .023. ] tattoos you have: don't have any..
[ .024. ] tattoos you want: i shudder at the thought of having soemthing stuck on my body for life.
[ .025. ] today's date: 1st of June 2004
[ .026. ] the time: 8.30am :D
[ .027. ] ready 4 a bunch more qns?: fuck u, but i'm bored, so what the heck ;)
. : School :
[ .043. ] are you still in school: wayy too early to be in school.
[ .044. ] did you drop out: never
[ .045. ] current GPA, or last GPA: 16 for Os.
[ .046. ] favorite grade: grade ? guess it would be j1, or sec3.
[ .047. ] least favorite grade: sec4, or j2
[ .048. ] favorite teacher: Mrs Chia from my pri sch ! and erm.. ms tan who taught my english in upper sec.
[ .049. ] least favorite teacher: dont really like most of the chinese teachers who've taught me.
[ .050. ] favorite subjects: English.
[ .051. ] least favorite subject: Economics, and maths.
[ .052. ] do you buy lunch or bring it: buy
[ .053. ] play any sports on the school's
team: Rugby
[ .054. ] do you do any extra curricular
activities: that'll be Rugby.
[ .055. ] are you popular: i'll... leave that for the school people to decide.
[ .056. ] favorite dance: the Haka. oh wait.. DANCE, erm, the William Hung dance. wait NO that's butt ass ugly like his face. erm... nah not into dancing :D
[ .057. ] favorite memory: my 4G2002 dudes !!! (=
[ .058. ] least favorite dance: wtf
[ .059. ] least favorite memory: of a failed relationship
[ .060. ] most humiliating moment: haha shant SAY :P
[ .061. ] number: 1. :)
[ .062. ] clothing brand: ralph lauren ? no particular brand.
[ .063. ] shoes: i've got MANY but my fav's the air jordan 18
[ .064. ] saying(s): it's actually only a word, but you've gotta say it with a really deep voice : BITCH !
[ .065. ] TV Show: dont have one
[ .066. ] sport: rugger, basketball
[ .067. ] vegetables: f*** !
[ .068. ] fruit: erm.. i like a lot of fruits !!
[ .069. ] movie: lots too, but my all time fav's gotta be Star Wars
[ .070. ] magazine: SLAM, RUGBY WORLD
[ .071. ] actor: nah, dun 'ave one
[ .072. ] actress: lots !
[ .073. ] candy: i LOVE candy !
[ .074. ] gum: Wrigleys !
[ .075. ] scent: jasmine ? jasmine's a pleasant scent ! not too strong, but really pleasant (=
[ .076. ] choc bar: kit-kat
[ .077. ] ice cream flavor: vanilla
[ .078. ] color: red, black
[ .079. ] seasons: winter, sadly singapore's summer all year round
[ .080. ] holidays: the nov-dec hols..
[ .081. ] bands: limp bizkit
[ .082. ] singer: karen carpenter
[ .083. ] group: group ? nah.
[ .084. ] rappers: lots, snoop dogg, ice cube
[ .085. ] types of music: anything 'cept for techno. damn beng.
[ .086. ] things in your room: a whole lot of messy stuff.
[ .087. ] place to be: los angeles :)
[ .088. ] radio station: 96.8 :D hahahahahaha
[ .089. ] tv channel: Central ! i LOVE the cartoons :) sadly, children these days have to watch lousy cartoons like digimon ? but least they've brought back the ninja turtles :D
[ .090. ] junk food: love 'em all !
[ .091. ] overall food: al time fav.. chicken rice
[ .092. ] store: canterbury of New Zealand !
[ .094. ] fast food: macdonalds !
[ .095. ] restaurant: Angus House.
[ .096. ] shape: figure 8 :D
[ .097. ] time of day: any time ! :)





I'm fucking bored.




bee bob ber do der,
she's my baby,
bee bob ber do der,
i'm goin' crazy




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Kow Wei-Heng Dudley, You scored 55 percent in this test!

Kow Wei-Heng Dudley, your witty comments and your seductive looks hit the bulls-eye every time. If somebody knows how to flirt then it's you. No matter if your heartthrob is shy or a go-getter, you know exactly how to bring her out of her shell and twist her around your little finger. When you're interested in somebody, you'll really get things moving. Because you are sensitive and know how to put yourself into your heartthrob's position, it's easy for you to give attention to your partner.





:D do people REALLY believe these stuff the internet can come up with ?




Ooo caught Shrek 2 yesterday. gotta watch it :) didnt know jennifer saunders was teh fairy godmom, didnt sound like her. ah, where're the good english comedies like Absolutely Fabulous or Mind Your Language gone to ?



"Are you entertained ? Are you NOT entertained ?!"