It was awesome today, considering Wednesdays are my easiest days of the week. Two periods, though it's with my 1Technical class. I left at 1, to the envy of many of the other teachers. It's my earliest so far, I met up with Tim and his dad at IMM. Royal Sporting House is really the shits man. And considering it to be the shits, it's located at IMM, making it the shitty one of shits.


Well, to top it off, I finally met timmy's dad ! MAN this sounds really gay, but what the heck right ? It's been EIGHT years man ! Eight years since '99 ! Ross is really a swell guy. Nice and down-to-earthy, I'd really like to meet 'im again ! Feels kinda weird to call him by his first name anyway, it's awkward I guess since I was brought up never to call anyone from the older generation by their first names. Well, it's a start ! He was nice enough to send both of us back to Maris Stella.


Maris Stella. Maris fucking Stella man !!!!!!!!!!!!!! The moment we got out from Ross's car, that wave of nostalgia, it just hit me ! I bet it hit Tim too. The school hall, the classrooms on the left, the chapel (How could I ever forget ? Christmas carolling in sec 1 was just magnificant!), the basketball courts where we used to play endlessly. It wasn't only the feeling of nostalgia that's still lingering in my mind, it was the conversations we had with Mr Lau and Brother Anthony.
You know, when you were a student, your teachers were like demi-gods, and the principal was the god of gods. you'll never really see them as fellow human beings, just as every bit mortal as you are. Mr Lau, or panda eyes as we used to call im (He's never lost his dark rings), recognised us ! I think he did Tim faster than me, because I was the lesser of the two evils in our stint there... (Yes Timmy boy, you'd agree to that) He used to be our social studies/geog teacher in sec one. I cant remember which, but he was a sarcastic teacher at times, though nice nonetheless. That was his sum of impressions that left with me after the O levels. Talking to him today, I am reminded again that even teachers are just like you and me, human beings ! From what we gather, Mr Lau seems to have fallen into a rut. It's not like he hates teaching or anything, but rather life has become a yearly time-table for him, something like a Groundhog Year.


Then he brought us up to the general office. I've never stepped into the place more than 10 times in my life, and this afternoon I did again, after 3 years. The lady working there's hot. NOT to digress... Brother Anthony saw us. Didn't think he'd know us personally, but definitely could tell that we were old boys. he welcomed us like we were almost friends, even giving us an Annual each as gifts. As a student, I saw him as this hovering spirit who spoke of his dreams of creating a world class school for MSHS. He was in his white robes most of the time ! Today I spoke to a fellow mortal eye to eye, yet again to my realisation that this is no more the Being of Providence that I once thought he was. He used to study in Australia too, speaking to Timothy, stayed there for 8 years, played rugby. Asked him why there's no rugby here, says it's not suitable for students to have rugger here considering the unforgiving weather of Singapore. Brother's always the careful guy, never taking the risk of allowing too violent contact sports or activities in our school.


It's a pity we couldnt catch the other teachers. There's Mr Ragu, Mr Dennis Koh our DM, Ms Tan. Ms Tan, one of the first teachers who's inspired me to teach. Paul Leong the PE dude, Tim and I'll be back soon, probably next week to catch 'em all at better times.


You know, talking to Mr Lau and Brother Anthony, their welcome was genuine. It didnt reek of hypocrisy at all. It's just so touching, sometimes it's these small gestures, these small details in life that really matter to you ? Like one of my students, that little girl from 1T Rabi'Atul, she drew for me my name and a heart saying that she's thankful for me as her teacher. That really broke my heart, amidst all that verbal punishment I dished out in the morning at 'em. We were truly welcomed back, They didnt rush off to do what they needed to do, they actually took some of their precious afternoon time off (On the contrary to popular belief, teachers dont have half-day schedules. They have meetings and papers to mark and lessons and notes to plan. today is an exception for me, so don't counter-argue my point ! :P) to entertain their guests, their ex-students, Us.


I'd really like to speak to Ms Tan, who taught me literature in sec1, then english in upper secondary. Life is such an irony eh, I hated and failed lit in sec1, when I had one of the best lit teachers in my life, and only came to embrace it in sec2 when someone like Ragu (That's being mean of me :P Ragu's a nice guy too.) taught me. She was one of the few who never gave up on me, though I chose to give up on myself on the very first day. I think I'll apologise to Ms Tan for that one time in sec1, when I think I promised her my hw but I didn't keep it, ran past the class for choir practice and got nearly expelled for that ? She was about to do it, but she caught me the following day and talked to me for a while about it at the porch. I still remember that.


I'd really like to speak to Brother on his views on God and religion too, if he has the time. I truly wish to know more about him personally. Really funny, how I wouldnt be thinking these thoughts only a year ago, when all I selfishly cared about was for some silly romantic ideal? That was incredibly stupid.


Well, one small step at a time for my new year resolution then. Hope the guys can make it this fri for Flags of our Fathers :)



P.S. My dear readers, do check out these books, Prisoners: A Muslim and a Jew Across The Middle East Divide by Jeffrey Goldberg, and also The God Dellusion by Richard Dawkins. The first is an enduring book on friendship and the bridge that narrows the gap between religious and cultural ignorance. The second, please do not be offended by it, it may exacerbate anti-athiestic views, but I'm sure you watched The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams too. If anything, it gives you a better understanding of where an Athiest, or Diest or Monothiest stands in our modern world.

Now that's the third consecutive 21st birthday that I've attended so far that's gone without alcohol. Alcohol. AL-COHOL. It's so huge they made it sound religious. Al-Cohol. Marian's, I could understand. She's a pure girl after all. So's Chun Si. Having so many Christian friends and all. But Andrew's ?????????? Omg. It was a Marist gathering too, for Al-Cohol's sake ! I swear, for all the alcoholics and beer guzzlers of the world, in keeping of tradition my 21st will be drowned with the sweet juices that is Al-Cohol !!! GRRRR









Now............................................

Boy do I feel like a failure. Teaching the two Normal Academic classes is still fine. After all, I'm co-teaching with Mrs Heng, someone who's been teaching longer than I have lived. The Technical class... however, it's like dread creeps up my spine everytime I step into their classroom. Their foundation of English is practically non-existent. What have they been learning in primary school ? I wonder if the system still has the EM3 stream implemented. It just reeks of elitism.

The moment I stepped into their class for the first time two mondays ago, it's like a subitaneous realisation: The system just says "Aiya just fuck care them la". Yes. Many of them are lazy. They're distracted. They're hyperactive. I'm ashamed to say this, but one or two are slow. BUT, nevertheless Victims of the System (Thank you, Timmy boy, for that one.) Somehow, I'm confused with the lesson plan. I've just been drilling grammar, or more specifically tenses, into 'em. Some have shown consistence with reasonable results, some with consistently lousy results, and some are just inconsistent. They just don't take it seriously. I feel like such a failure. -Sigh-

I better come up with something quick. Their CA's coming up pretty soon, and I'm still dili-dali-ing with my lesson plans (which really isn't anything, because I haven't done anything at all) I hope the grammar book I brought back's useful. Gotta kill my laziness, and God save these kids. Please.

When gratitude is thrown back into your face, you feel either two things: One is that you wish to hurl it back, chained with a spiked iron ball. Two, you walk away.

Walking out of yck station yesterday, there was a tanned, frail-looking lady leaning against a pillar. she looked like she was going to die. So I asked, "Are you alright, mdm?"

Do you have sweets ?

No. So I ran to Cheers, got a tube of mentos grapes and a bottle of mineral water, ran back to her and popped 3 of those mentos out into her opened palm. And so she asked, "Where can I take 852?"

It's over there, but you look like you need help.

And so, I dialled 999. Stupidity of the moment eh ? I had hoped the police kind enough to drive her back home in bukit batok for her "Insulin Jam" which I think really meant insulin jab. I guess she's diabetic. The officer who picked up told me to call 995.

Now, for some really ludicrous reason she took umbrage to my apparent goodwill.

"WHY YOU CALL FOR AMBULANCE ?! I NEVER ASK YOU TO CALL RIGHT?!" and so she hurled her bottle of water at my chest and bounced off to my right.

Is this how you repay gratitude ?

I DON'T WANT YOUR STUPID SWEETS AND WATER ! she reached for her bag and threw the bottle and sweets away.

My guess it was the 3 mentos grapes that gave her back her energy. Well, she did get angry, for some really silly reason.

Everyone was starting to stare and the aunties were running away. So I gave a near-sardonic grin, and walked away. I thought she looked uglier as her chest (which was pretty much almost non-existent) heaved up and down in anger, and her face cringing like a..... I don't know. Shit.

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Did I ever mention that I'm teaching now ? Relief teaching, to be accurate. And for that I have to thank Venkut, the person who introduced the job to me.

Funny, I call it comical retribution. How I, the asshole-for-a-student, used to be a FUBAR-class Student, and now I face 120 normal academic and technical students. Hahahahahaha. Though an extremely mentally taxing job it may be, some how it's incredibly enjoyable to teach. cheeky yet harmless kids, great people to work with, I really can't complain.

Well, I've survived two whole weeks already !! hahahaha. 7 more before Term 1 ends, and then a couple more weeks, NUS. I've learned a great deal the last 12 days or so, and there's going to be so much more to experience in the next few months.

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Oh yes, since this is the first entry of the year, I should do a reflection on 2006 eh ? Let's see...

2006 was the year I experienced love, in quite a radical manner yet somehow near-perfect. At least it was right at the start.

I played quality rugby (I hope I've improved... I hope) with a bunch of incredible people, Sailors and Divers alike, from the Navy and though we came in 2nd runner-ups, it was one of the most enjoyable times concerning sports that I've had.

I spent the 2nd half of 06 doing a bit of soul-searching, questioning this and that, realising that my family matters most. And so do my friends.

I did manage to fulfill my two personal resolutions for 2006 : ) though I cannot say, for my own privacy. They were enjoyable, a beautiful experience I must say, but it had to end. For such a matter can only end when it was rashly decided at the beginning.

Somehow, 06 alone brought such a sizable difference to me that the experience I had even from the past 3 years themselves combined cannot be compared.



There is an ancient 4-Faced Buddha in Bangkok, Thailand, that I always pray to whenever I'm there. It's said it's powers are so potent that any wish that you make will be granted. I used to ask for his blessings for my major exams. Those were selfish prayers. Somehow, for the first time in December, I made a selfless one. At least I hope I did.



Last night I met up with the guys and rachel's gang. Had seafood for dinner, and the chilli crab was absolutely fabulous. Somehow when you hang out with school friends, your brain just regresses into JC immaturity. Still the same old nonsense. Same old awkwardness. It's been a while, and I still feel the same. Wonder if she still does. Heh. Life's just funny, innit ? Somehow, that's still a part of me that's left hanging in the balance, and I think I only realise now that I have to confront it again.



Okay, New Year Resolution for 2007. Since I'll be turning 21, I'll make it resolute, no more marionette going on a pirouette. I'll strive to be a better Human Being. Now ain't that the hardest thing to do on this planet ?








Asalaam aleikum. Peace be unto you, my friends :)